How to Heal Emotionally From a Miscarriage
Losing a pregnancy is one of the hardest things anyone can go through. It’s a loss that can leave you feeling heartbroken, confused, and alone.
Healing emotionally from a miscarriage takes time, patience, and kindness toward yourself. There’s no “right” way to grieve, but there are steps you can take to help yourself through the process.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
The first step in healing is to let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling. Miscarriage can bring up a mix of emotions—sadness, anger, guilt, or even numbness.
You might feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, and that’s okay. There’s no “normal” way to feel after a miscarriage. Some people cry a lot, while others feel empty or disconnected. Both are valid.
It’s important not to judge yourself for how you feel. You might hear well-meaning people say things like, “You can try again,” or “It wasn’t meant to be.”
While they’re trying to help, these comments can sometimes make you feel like your grief isn’t valid. But your feelings are real, and they matter. Let yourself grieve in your own way and in your own time.
Talk About It (If You Want To)
Talking about your miscarriage can be hard, but it can also help. Sharing your story with someone you trust—a partner, friend, or family member—can make you feel less alone.
Sometimes, just saying out loud what you’re going through can help you process your emotions.
If you’re not ready to talk to someone you know, consider joining a support group. Many groups are specifically for people who have experienced miscarriage.
Hearing from others who’ve been through the same thing can be comforting. It reminds you that you’re not alone and that what you’re feeling is normal.
If talking feels too hard, writing can also help.
Try journaling about your thoughts and feelings. You don’t have to share it with anyone—it’s just for you. Writing can be a way to release emotions that feel stuck inside.
Give Yourself Time
Healing from a miscarriage doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process, and it’s different for everyone.
Some days, you might feel okay, and other days, the grief might hit you all over again. That’s normal. There’s no timeline for healing, so don’t pressure yourself to “get over it” by a certain date.
Be patient with yourself. It’s okay to take things one day at a time. If you need to cry, cry. If you need to rest, rest.
Healing isn’t about forgetting what happened—it’s about finding a way to live with the loss and move forward.
Take Care of Your Body
Your emotional health is closely tied to your physical health. After a miscarriage, your body needs time to recover, and taking care of yourself physically can help you feel better emotionally.
Eat nourishing foods, drink plenty of water, and try to get enough sleep. Even small things, like taking a walk or doing gentle stretches, can help you feel more grounded.
If you’re struggling with fatigue or other physical symptoms, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor. They can help you understand what’s normal and what might need extra attention.
Lean on Your Partner (If You Have One)
If you have a partner, they’re likely grieving too, but they might express it differently. Some people cry openly, while others seem quiet or withdrawn. Neither way is wrong—it’s just how they cope.
Try to be open with each other about how you’re feeling. Even if you’re grieving in different ways, you can still support each other.
If you’re finding it hard to connect, consider talking to a counselor together. A therapist can help you communicate better and navigate this difficult time as a team.
Be Kind to Yourself
It’s easy to blame yourself after a miscarriage, but it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault. Miscarriages are common, and most of the time, they happen because of things beyond anyone’s control.
Be gentle with yourself and try to let go of any guilt or shame.
One way to practice self-kindness is to treat yourself the way you’d treat a friend going through the same thing.
Would you tell them it’s their fault? Would you tell them to “just get over it”?
Probably not. So, try to give yourself the same compassion and understanding.
Find Ways to Remember Your Baby
For many people, finding a way to honor their baby helps with healing. This could be something simple, like lighting a candle on the due date or planting a tree in their memory.
Some people write a letter to their baby or create a small keepsake, like a piece of jewelry. These acts can help you feel connected to your baby and give you a sense of closure.
If you’re religious or spiritual, you might find comfort in prayer, meditation, or a special ceremony. Do whatever feels right for you.
Know When to Seek Help
While it’s normal to feel sad after a miscarriage, there’s a difference between grief and depression. If your sadness feels overwhelming or lasts for a long time, it might be a sign that you need extra help. Other signs to watch for include:
Feeling hopeless or worthless
Losing interest in things you used to enjoy
Having trouble sleeping or eating
Thinking about harming yourself
If you’re experiencing any of these, please reach out to a mental health professional. Therapy can be a safe space to work through your emotions, and a therapist can help you develop coping strategies. There’s no shame in asking for help—it’s a sign of strength.
Give Yourself Permission to Move Forward
At some point, you might start to feel like yourself again. You might laugh, enjoy hobbies, or think about the future.
When this happens, it’s normal to feel guilty, like you’re “forgetting” your baby. But moving forward doesn’t mean you’re leaving your baby behind.
It just means you’re finding a way to live with the loss.
It’s okay to feel happy again. It’s okay to make plans and look forward to the future. Your baby will always be a part of you, and healing doesn’t mean you love them any less.
Final Thoughts
Healing from a miscarriage is a journey, and it’s one you don’t have to take alone.
Be patient with yourself, lean on others when you need to, and remember that it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling.
There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, and there’s no timeline for healing.
Take things one day at a time, and know that it’s possible to find peace and hope again. You’re stronger than you think, and you will get through this.
If you need a space to process your emotions regarding pregnancy, pregnancy loss and parenthood I offer infertility counseling and therapy for those in Texas and Utah.
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