Can't Get Pregnant: What to Do
Trying to conceive can be one of life’s most hopeful—and heartbreaking—experiences. If you’ve been trying and still can’t get pregnant, you may feel overwhelmed, anxious, or even isolated.
As a therapist specializing in infertility, I want you to know you’re not alone—and there is support for both your emotional well-being and your fertility journey.
When to Seek Help if You Can’t Get Pregnant
It’s normal to have questions and concerns if you’ve been trying without success. If you're under 35 and have been trying to conceive for a year, or over 35 and have tried for six months, it may be time to consult a doctor.
These are standard medical guidelines, but they’re also emotional milestones. Therapy can help you process what these timelines mean for you personally.
Why You Might Not Be Getting Pregnant
There are many factors that can affect fertility, and understanding them can be the first step toward clarity and control.
1. Timing and Ovulation
Conception depends heavily on ovulation timing. If intercourse isn’t aligned with your fertile window, it can reduce your chances of getting pregnant. Learning how to track your cycle or use ovulation prediction tools can be helpful—and therapy can support you in managing the stress of this process.
2. Age and Fertility
Fertility naturally declines with age, particularly after 35. If age is a factor in your journey, it’s okay to grieve the expectations you once held. A therapist can help you process those emotions in a supportive space.
3. Medical Conditions
Issues like PCOS, endometriosis, thyroid disorders, or male factor infertility can contribute to difficulties conceiving. These diagnoses can be emotionally heavy—therapy can help you cope with the complex feelings that often come with them.
4. Lifestyle and Emotional Health
Smoking, poor nutrition, high stress, or a sedentary lifestyle can impact fertility. Sometimes, it’s not just about physical health—it’s also about how your body responds to emotional strain. Counseling can help you reduce stress and build healthy coping strategies as you work toward pregnancy.
5. Unexplained Infertility
For some, the cause remains unknown. “Unexplained infertility” can feel like the most frustrating diagnosis of all. As a therapist, I work with individuals and couples to navigate this uncertainty with compassion and clarity.
What You Can Do If You Can’t Get Pregnant
If you can’t get pregnant, you're likely facing not just medical questions—but deep emotional ones, too. Here are steps to consider:
1. Track Your Cycle
Learning more about your body is empowering. Understanding your menstrual and ovulation patterns can guide next steps medically and emotionally.
2. Embrace Healthy Changes
Nutrition, exercise, and stress reduction can all improve fertility outcomes. In therapy, we can explore small, manageable lifestyle shifts that align with your goals and support your well-being.
3. Consult a Fertility Specialist
Testing can uncover physical causes—and having a counselor by your side through this process can ease anxiety, help you prepare emotionally, and support decision-making around next steps.
4. Explore Fertility Treatments
Medications, IUI, IVF, and other assisted reproductive technologies offer hope—but they also bring emotional highs and lows. Counseling can help you navigate these options with resilience and a grounded mindset.
The Emotional Toll of Infertility
Not being able to conceive can lead to grief, relationship strain, anxiety, and even depression. Therapy provides a safe, judgment-free space to:
Express and process difficult emotions
Strengthen your relationship through open communication
Reduce feelings of isolation and shame
Build a toolkit for emotional resilience
Considering Other Paths to Parenthood
If medical treatments aren’t successful or not the right fit for you, there are still meaningful ways to create a family:
Adoption
Surrogacy
Living child-free with purpose and peace
Whatever path you choose, therapy can support you in making empowered, values-based decisions.
There Is Hope
When you feel like you can’t get pregnant, it’s easy to lose hope. But infertility does not define you. Whether you're beginning your journey or exploring new options, support is available—medically, emotionally, and therapeutically.
As an infertility therapist, I’m here to walk with you through every stage—from testing and treatment to acceptance and healing. Let’s talk about it.
If you need a space to process your emotions regarding pregnancy, pregnancy loss and parenthood I offer infertility counseling and therapy for those in Texas and Utah.
If you’re looking for a spanish speaking therapist, I am a latina therapist that can help you navigate your thoughts and emotions with great regard to our culture and relate with you better by communicating with the language you find comfortable to use. 